Quotable Quips

 


While driving next to carpet cleaning van...
Kevin: What is that?
Mom: [Explained what carpet cleaners do.]
Kevin: I guess you call them if you're too lazy to do it yourself.



 

 

Ryan and Lisa had a battle of wits...
Did you hear the one about the expensive phone call? It isn't worth telling.
Did you hear the one about the pig farmer? It's okay. He butchered it.
Did you hear the one about the weak boxer? There wasn't much of a punch line.
Did you hear the one about the outlet? It's too shocking to tell.

 
In a game of catch phrase, Ryan was trying to get his team to guess the word "cage."
Ryan: You stick flying animals into it!






 


Michelle: Did you hear about the pillow that was making headlines?
Siblings: You have to tell the punchline!
Michelle: I did! (Pause.) Oh, wait...did you hear about the CORDUROY pillow that was making head lines?






 



On Christmas morning, Stephen was so excited to eat his beloved cinnamon roll that he bit his finger while taking a bite.

 



Nathan and Kevin were conversing about their meal. Mom, correcting their grammar, interjected that they "had eaten" yesterday. Nathan was pleased with her comment and said, "Mom, you are very absorbant!"